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We both knew what we had done and felt ashamed.I watched the little boy and listened to his thoughts as he aged beforeme. I felt the excitement in his groin as he yearned to dress like ourmother and be like her. I watched him as he spied on Mom and Mrs.Jackson and Mrs. Estes as they sat around the kitchen table smoking andgossiping. I felt his desire to join them at the table as their peer,dressed like them and smoking like them, and talking about all the thingsthat older women talk about.I saw myself on a date with Madison Bulloch, kissing her and thinkingabout how she was wasting her life by not taking up smoking. If I hadbeen a girl I would have started smoking in a heart beat, and some daywhen I was older, I'd be a woman like my mom, smoking and puffing, andlooking pretty and fucking.Oh God, help me. Make it stop...but it didn't stop.Although it had never happened, I saw myself standing in a roomsurrounded by everyone I knew. I was dressed in my mother's clothes andsmoking. The next kiss I opened my mouth and she followed suit, a groan of need from her echoed my own desire.She pressed her hips against the edge of the bunk and her upper torso against my body, I felt her small breasts point into my chest and that brought a new heat to my loins. My mouth began to attack her own and as my tongue began to violate her. She not only allowed me to do this, when I paused for breath, her tongue came out of her mouth and slide passed my lips.Definitely not a spinster unknown to the ways of men, yet a woman with a hurt probably as deep as my own. One that she was able to hide better than I, I may add. Beyond all this, a desire for love, both physical and emotional as we had both been starving for far too long.I felt her tiny hands between us and realized she was attempting to withdraw my manhood. The hunger of the woman again surprised me, I had not ever been with one so aggressive with her passion, though I found no fault in it to be sure.Gently I pushed her away.
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